The Unholy Trio
by Eralk Fang
Summary: Seto, Malik, and Otogi face an entirely new challenge- parenting. [some slash, and scary offspring- more warnings inside, sorry]
1. Not Such a Miracle

**Title:** Not Such a Miracle  
**Author:** Eralk Fang  
**Fandom:** Yu-Gi-Oh!  
**Rating:** PG.  
**Summary:** Isis reacts to news of a baby that couldn't have been born.  
**Notes:** Christmas gift for Jun because she had a huge hand in making the kids. Avi demanded to see it and Jun wanted it up on for the reactions. I'm a nice person. Teh end.  
**Warnings that didn't fit in the summary:** (big inside joke) (supposed mpreg) (setomalik setootogi noncon!pegasusseto) (scary offspring). Oh dear.

* * *

A MONTH LATER

* * *

"Isis, can you get that?" 

"Sure."

Rishid was cooking; Isis was flipping through the latest issue of National Geographic. It featured an article on Egyptian jewelry- she planned to scan a few pictures for Malik. She reached over and picked up the phone.

"Hello, Ishtar residence."

"Isis! It's me!" It was Malik, sounding very happy. If Malik was happy, something very shiny or very expensive was in his possession, either legally or not, or somebody he hated just died.

Malik also hadn't been home in the past ten or so months. He was in Domino, Japan, of all places to be.

"Hey, Malik." Isis said. Rishid looked over from the kitchen. Isis smiled and nodded at him.

Suddenly, Isis became aware of a noise on the other end that wasn't Malik or his jewelry. It was a soft sound.

It was the gurgling of a baby.

Malik seemed to cover the mouthpiece for a second, but Isis could vaguely hear him making baby-talk. Isis looked up at Rishid, who'd gone back to making pasta.

"Malik?"

"Yeah?"

"Is that a baby?"

Malik laughed a little. "Yeah, it is."

"Whose is it?"

"Mine." The baby on the other end gurgled and Malik made a cooing sound at it.

Isis let out a particularly strong curse in Egyptian and managed to hang onto the phone. Rishid looked over at her worried; she waved a hand at him.

"Okay. I'm an aunt now. I knew this would happen someday. Okay." Isis took a deep breath. "Who is the mother?"

"I don't know."

"Malik, I can understand a woman not knowing paternity, but I think you would notice if your girlfri-"

Isis stopped. Malik didn't... like girls...

"Malik, who is the other _parent_?"

"Seto Kaiba. I'll have him paying child support until the kid's eighteen!" Malik cooed at the baby on the other end.

Isis took this in for a moment. "Malik, that's physically impossible."

"We woke up in a science lab that night, if that helps."

"No, it doesn't help. How did two males have a baby together?"

"Magic, Isis. Magic."

* * *

A MONTH EARLIER

* * *

"Well, I don't remember the last eighteen hours whatsoever. Do you?" 

"No."

"Mr. Kaiba?"

"No."

"Alright, then!"

The doctor was entirely too cheerful about the fact that three well-educated people- okay, two well-educated people- couldn't remember what happened for over half a day.

Malik didn't even remember why or how they got into the hospital. In fact, the last thing he remembered was sitting on a couch in the Kaiba mansion, berating Kai-Seto. Seto. Malik could call him Seto now.

Malik grinned, and Seto inched another few inches away from him.

"Well, let's see... there's a baby here and it looks like you two."

Oh. There was a bassinet! Amazing!

"Sir, that's impossible. We're two _men_. How would that happen?"

Malik patted Seto's arm. "Magic, Seto. Magic."

"I don't believe in all that hocus pocus stuff." Seto glared. Malik cozied up to him some more- pissing off Seto was fun.

"Well I do, and there's a baby here, and I don't see you offering up any explanations." Malik, his arms still wrapped around Seto's arm, dragged him the few feet to the bassinet.

There was a baby in it, as there often are in bassinets. It could have been newborn, but could also be a couple days after birth, all red and everything, and swaddled in white blanket. For some reason, Malik wasn't entirely repulsed. Underneath all the redness was a darker skin color- from Malik, obviously. The sparse hair on its scalp was dark, and its eyes were closed.

It was a boy.

"So... who wants to hold the baby first?" The doctor asked.

"I do. Gimme." Malik unwound his arms from Seto's arm and held them out. He had absolutely no experience with babies, but he'd watched enough Lifetime movies with his sister to know how to handle them.

The doctor picked up the baby carefully and handed up to Malik.

Malik peered down at the squished face, and he felt Seto looking over his shoulder. "Wow."

"People have babies everyday, Malik, it's raising them properly that's the miracle." Seto said.

"Well, about the odds, huh? We can raise this thing, right? The odds aren't against us... are they?" Malik asked.

Before Seto could answer, the tiny little squished mouth moved. Malik and Seto leaned in closer.

The baby made a sound not unlike "universal domination."

Seto and Malik looked at each other, varying expressions of horror and underlying delight on their faces.

"Oh, he's just like me!" Malik almost giggled, hugging the baby closer. "I wonder what he'll get from you, your charm?"

"I hate it when you get sarcastic."

"Only because I do it better then you."

"Only because you can never reach the heights of my wit."

"Well- oh Ra! What are we doing!" Malik suddenly said.

"We're bickering. That's how we flirt, I believe."

"This baby needs to grow up in a loving and stable enviroment!" Malik declared, running a finger along the baby's cheek.

"A stable environment with you in it?"

"Yes! A loving and stable environment so it doesn't have the kind of childhoods we did." Malik glared.

"Great."

"Mr. Kaiba, would you like to take the child home now?"

"Yes."

"well, we'll need a birth ceritifcate..."

"I can take care of that myself. Thank you."

Seto put his arm around Malik's waist and gently, for a change, led him out of the building.

It was confusing, since Seto had never been there in his life.

"Seto, what are we going to name it?" Malik held the baby protectively against his chest.

"Casey."

"Casey. After what?"

"My company. Initials for Kaiba Corperation."

"Real brilliant."

"I don't see you coming up with anything."

Malik fell into silence and thought. "Casey-_Ra_."

"Casey-Ra."

"Yes. He's actually the only person probably in this town that can trace his lineage back to the time of the Pharoahs."

"Alright. Whatever."

Malik rolled his eyes and peered around the next corner. Wonderful! It was the exit. Or entrance. It was a way out.

They strolled out into the sunlight, both pointedly ignoring an elderly woman who double-taked at them.

Malik looked around. "Seto, how did we get here?"

"I don't remember." Seto scanned the parking lot for any of his cars, or even Malik's motorcycle, although he'd sworn never to ride the thing.

"Did we walk here?"

"No. You'd be complaining."

Malik sighed. "Well, the only other way is..."

"...up."

They both turned around and looked up at the top of the building. One shiny blue wing caught the light enough to hurt Malik's eyes.

"How the hell are we supposed to get a baby out of here in your stupid jet?"

* * *

A MONTH LATER

* * *

"How did you get the baby out?" 

"I can't tell you. It's some top secret thing, blah blah blah." Malik breathed loudly into the phone.

Isis had considerably calmed down some. "You named it Casey-Ra?"

"Yes. And he's a pretty little baby, aren't you honey?" Malik's sentence dropped off into baby talk. Isis wondered if he thought like that.

"Well... um... when do we get to see the baby?"

"Oh, maybe in a few months. Seto's all paranoid about somebody snatching his baby and Mokuba's still getting over it."

There was a distinct pause. If Malik hadn't been so wrapped up in the baby, he might have noticed how awkward it was.

"Oh, I have to get going. Bye, Isis!"

The phone clicked off and Isis automatically put the phone back in its cradle. She looked up at Rishid, who was just finished making dinner. He was very concerned.

"What's this about Malik and a baby?"

"Rishid, I think you're going to want to sit down..."


	2. Halfdollar Baby

**Title:** Half-Dollar Baby  
**Fandom:** Yu-Gi-Oh!  
**Summary:** Freaky situations are easier to cope with the second time around.  
**Rating:** PG  
**Notes:** MUST FINISH UNHOLY TRIO. MUST FINISH. Again, not entirely my fault- er, idea. Jun is the co-creator of the children.  
**Warnings that didn't fit in the summary:  
**(big inside joke) (supposed mpreg) (setomalik setootogi noncon!pegasusseto) (scary offspring).  
Oh dear.

* * *

Malik was fully prepared to rip the phone into little shreds. How dare some pathetic telemarketer interrupt his own personal marathon of unintentionally hilarious movies!

"I know people in high places and my husband will have your head on a platter-" Malik began to snarl.

"This _is_ your husband."

"Oh. Hello. What do you want?" Malik tugged on the phone cord and started to twirl it around his fingertips.

"Well, it seems there is a bit of a problem." For a moment, Malik wished Seto would let an emotion other then anger and disappointment into his voice. it would make guessing about Seto's problems much easier.

"What kind of problem?"

"A Casey-Ra kind of problem."

Malik glanced over at his son, who was sleeping the sleep of vaguely innocent future dictators on the other arm of the couch. "In what way?"

"I'm here in a hospital with Otogi, and there is a baby here that was born with teeth. The only explanation there can be is that we've _magically_ had a baby."

"Hmm."

It took a moment for Malik to react. His powers of denial were getting better.

"Otogi? Otogi Ryuuji? Are you having an affair?"

"Yes, I am, Malik."

"Well, you could have told me before you two magically had a baby. Now Casey-Ra has a minion- I mean, brother. Tell Otogi thank you." Malik concluded his statement in the haughtiest manner possible, a manner that would put the most stuck-up princess to shame.

* * *

"Malik says thank you for appearing to have my child." Seto told Otogi.

Otogi nodded and turned his attention back to the terror in the bassinet. The baby was gnawing on the blanket. He'd been born with teeth. This was weird, but no weirder then two men supposedly having a baby. Seto had told him about the circumstances Casey-Ra was born in.

Seto finished the call with Malik and sat down next to Otogi to gawk at the little baby. "So? Is he angry?" Otogi asked.

"Only angry that you might steal his money away. But I told him since you run your own business he shouldn't worry."

"Steal your money... but you two aren't married, right?"

"You'd be surprised what you can do with a boy in drag." Seto leaned over and wiggled his fingers at the baby. The baby snapped at him in an endearing way.

"We have to name him."

"You name him."

Otogi glanced at Seto, but agreed. The baby gurgled and set to gnawing the blanket again.

They sat in silence, making Seto progressively uncomfortable. "I'm going to get something to eat."

"Mmm. I'm feeling woozy- get me something with alcohol in it." Otogi leaned back against the seat when Seto vacated the bench.

Seto went off and alas, did not find anything that Otogi would drink. The vending machines were woefully unsuited to the appetite of game designers. Seto ended up bringing back a packet of what once were brightly colored of nachos, smashed to bits, and two bottles of water.

Otogi was distracting the baby with his necklace.

"Did you name him?"

"Hal..."

"That's nice."

"...f-dollar please don't kill me."

Seto blinked. "You named him after currency, Otogi?"

"Yes. I took out a half-dollar and he ate the damn thing." Otogi couldn't bring himself to glare at Hal, who was now staring at the necklace like Yami no Yuugi stared down people who he was about to either a.) maim, b.) make go insane, or c.) kill.

"Do we need to get his stomach pumped or something?"

"No. He chewed through the thing. He's got amazing baby teeth. Imagine what it'll be like once his real teeth grow in."

Seto sat down, and found that finding out your son would most likely be a freak of nature a second time wasn't as bad as the first.

* * *

A FEW MONTHS LATER

* * *

Seto drummed his fingers against the arm of the couch. The moment Otogi had walked through the doors of the Kaiba Mansion, he and Malik had begun a staring contest.

Two hours later, they were still at it. Their eyes were watering, and Seto was tempted to remind them their careful make-up would be ruined and make them blink, but it would be more amusing not to say anything.

Hal was content in his baby carrier, gnawing on a poor, defenseless stuffed Dark Magician. Seto would've bought him a Blue Eyes White Dragon plushie, but Casey-Ra had one and watching Yuugi's favorite monster getting destroyed by a baby was fun to watch.

Speaking of Casey-Ra...

The toddler slipped into the room, immediately going for Seto. "Dada!"

"Hi, Casey-Ra."

Seto reached over to ruffle Casey-Ra's hair and Casey-Ra leaned up into it like a cat. One of the various things wrong with Casey-Ra, besides his parentage, was the fact that he seemed always frustrated by the fact he couldn't talk very well. Oh, he understood everything, Seto knew that. In fact, he often took sides in arguments.

Casey-Ra smiled at Seto, and looked at the other occupants of the room.

"Ha! You have weak eyes!" Otogi crowed in triumph as Malik's eyelids rebelled against his brain and closed.

"No fair! I didn't see the sun until I was ten!" Malik rubbed at his eyes. His make-up was only vaguely ruined.

"Dada?" Casey-Ra tugged on Malik's shirt.

"Hey, Casey-Ra. This is Otogi. He's the baby's other daddy." Malik bristled, giving Otogi another haughty glare. Otogi just smirked.

Casey-Ra made his way to the baby carrier, and looked at the remains of the Dark Magician plushie, strewn all over the baby carrier and the baby inside. Hal looked up at him.

"Yes, Casey-Ra, this baby is your minion to do with how you please." Malik cooed.

"That's really unfair. Hal has the better parentage." Otogi said.

"Oh, really? How?"

"Well, two absolutely brilliant game designers against one brilliant game designer and one mildly brilliant Egyptian with a whack-job father."

"Well your father wasn't on the sane side himself!"

While Malik and Otogi continued to bicker about the mental states of their fathers, Casey-Ra and Hal were staring at each other.

This went on for a good thirty minutes, when suddenly, Casey-Ra spoke.

"Mine!"

Malik and Otogi stopped bickering, and Seto slumped back on the couch.

"See? Casey-Ra is brilliant. He now has his own minion, and you can't do anything about it, dice boy!"

Seto resigned himself to the fact that he would probably always live in a crazy house. Again, it was easier the second time.


	3. A Glass of Chianti

**Title:** A Glass of Chianti  
**Fandom: **Yu-Gi-Oh!  
**Summary: **Seto encounters... Cynthia.  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Notes: **Again, not entirely my fault- er, idea. Jun is the co-creator of the children. We both co-own the kiddies, Casey-Ra, Hal, and Cynthia. In fact, she helped out with most of this chapter. Indirectly. Birthday gift for Jun. Happy Birthday!  
**Warnings that didn't fit in the summary:  
**(big inside joke) (supposed mpreg) (setomalik setootogi noncon!pegasusseto) (scary offspring). Oh dear.

* * *

The doorbell rang.

Malik sipped his coffee, eyes flicking over the newspaper.

It rang again.

Malik glanced down the hallway that led from the living room to the foyer. Some servant should have opened it by now.

Again, the doorbell again. Malik set his paper and his coffee down, and set off for the front door, rearranging his earrings as he did so.

The doorbell rang for the fourth time before Malik wrenched the front door open.

There, at the door, was a manservant.

"What do you want?" Malik asked, yawning. The manservant was shaking slightly- Malik couldn't see why.

"This... is to be given to Mr. Kaiba." The manservant handed Malik an envelope. He took it, looking over it, and when he looked up, the manservant was gone. Malik shrugged, and retreated back into the house. He sniffed it experimentally, and snorted. Ugh. It reeked of wine.

He made his way upstairs and into Seto's study. "Seto..." Malik waved the envelope slightly, as if to get the scent of wine off.

Seto looked up from his work. He had long since stopped trying to keep family members out of his study- they came in anyways, and if they were forbidden, they just took things. "Yes?"

"This just came for you." Malik set the envelope down on the desk, on top of Seto's paperwork.

"We have people we pay to get the mail."

"A little man in a uniform gave it to me. Now open it, I want to see who it's from!" Malik crossed to Seto's office chair and settled himself on the armrest, draping an arm over Seto to stay upright.

Seto pulled the last letter opener off his desk (the previous letter openers had been stolen until he bought a letter opener so ugly no one would touch it save himself) and cut the envelope neatly open. The paper inside was much more saturated with the wine smell.

Seto skimmed over it in a very businesslike manner, eyes flicking up and down the paper. Malik, however, stopped at the sender.

"Pegasus Crawford?" He asked.

"Yes. He'll be coming this afternoon on some casual business." Seto folded it up and put it gently in a drawer. The wine smell did not go away.

"I've always wanted to meet him."

"Really?"

"Well, you and Otogi work with him, and he's the only man I know who scares you."

"I am not scared of Pegasus. He's just a freak." Seto paused. "More than any of you."

"Oh, that's so funny." Malik tugged on Seto's ear in a very painful manner.

* * *

As it turned out, Casey-Ra and Hal were also curious about Pegasus, and thus, the whole family was in the foyer, awaiting Pegasus' arrival. 

"Is Pegasus the guy you told me about?" Hal asked Otogi.

"Yes."

"The one that if you hadn't had me with Daddy you would have-"

"Hal, be quiet."

Suddenly, the door swung open, and all smell was lost under layers and layers of _wine_. A chill shot down Seto's spine. There was a Disturbance in The Force.

Included in this display was smoke, which was as fancy as smoke could get. Seto broke into a fit of coughs. When it at last began to clear, he could make out the shapes of two figures-one large, one small.

As the smoke cleared further, the figures were visible. The larger was Pegasus, whose hands rested on the shoulders of the smaller figure. The smaller figure was a teenage child, a pretty one at that, though very feminine. They only assumed it was male because it didn't seem to have a very prominent chest. It possessed absolute masses of pale brown curls, and was engaging the floor in a staring contest.

"...The child smells of WINE!" cried Malik.

"Its hair is unnaturally curled!" exclaimed Otogi.

"Hello, Kaiba-boy," greeted Pegasus, smiling that all too familiar smile. "We had a child together- Well then, I'm off to Italy. Be good, Cynthia!"

Pegasus then retreated up the walkway with inhuman speed, leaving Cynthia there to slowly look up from the floor to Seto.

"...hi?" Cynthia looked rather confused.

The first person to react was Hal. Hal dashed up to Cynthia and prodded the teenager in the chest suspiciously. "Why don't you have breasts? Are you really a girl?" Hal bounced on his heels.

"That's impossible! Her name is Cynthia! Of course she's female!" Casey-Ra smacked his

half-brother over the head.

Cynthia looked like 'she' wanted to curl up into a ball and die. 'She' settled for staring at the floor and mumbling something under 'her' breath.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you." Malik said.

And then, in the deepest voice that he could conjure up, which was in a word, pathetic, Cynthia exclaimed, "I AM A BOY, DAMMIT."

Seto stared for a second, before burying his head in his hands, groaning loudly.

"All my children are freaks," he moaned.

"I'm not a freak!" Hal shrilled, ceasing his study of Cynthia.

"He's your child," Malik said, looking pointedly at Otogi. "Of course he's a freak." Cynthia wondered if this was a good environment, before deciding it was better then Pegasus.

"My father was an evil clown," Otogi shot back, returning the look. "Sometimes things skip a generation."

Finally, Seto looked up from his inner lament, glancing cautiously at Cynthia.

"You know colours- right?" he asked warily, not about to go through the colour ordeal again. (Hal had not been the best student of colours, as he learned from a children's TV show from a TV set that needed its colour adjusted).

"Like mauve?" Cynthia offered.

Seto had the sudden urge to fling his arms around the child, but resisted quite well.

Cynthia edged over to a chair and set himself down, looking at his new caretakers.

"Excuse me, girl-boy, you are in my chair." Casey-Ra suddenly loomed over Cynthia, looking as evil and malicious as possible. Malik sighed proudly.

"It doesn't have your name on it!" Cynthia retorted.

Casey-Ra pointed at the initials 'KC' on the chair.

He paused, taking out a pocket-knife from apparently nowhere and scratched '-Ra' beside it neatly. "It does now."

Cynthia quickly scooted off the seat and stood next to Hal, who started batting at his hair. Cynthia thought this was better then Casey-Ra, when Hal grabbed a fistful of curls and sniffed them. Underneath the wine, Hal's bizarrely acute sense of smell could detect...

"Are you wearing hair extensions?" Hal asked. Cynthia quickly grabbed his hair back and glowered. That was his hair, dammit. And sometimes hair needed help.

Malik and Otogi shared a glance, and then glared at Seto.

"Seto, can we have a little chat with you?"

* * *

In Seto's office, Malik and Otogi were glaring at him from his own office chair, the kind with the high back that made unexpected entrances fun. Malik was standing behind it, looming as best he could, and Otogi was sitting in the actual seat of the chair. Seto shifted uncomfortably. 

"So, tell me, Seto, when, where, and why did you cheat on me- us, I mean?" Malik hissed.

Otogi didn't seem quite so worried. "Was it good?"

"I don't know. I was probably unconscious. Yes. I was unconscious." Seto answered, trying to remember. "It probably happened during the Duelist Kingdom tournament."

Malik leaned over the back of the chair. "Does that sound like Pegasus to you?" He whispered.

"I can still hear you." Seto said, but they ignored him.

Otogi nodded. The trio remained in silence, contemplating this. Malik began counting on his fingers, which seemed far more complicated than necessary. Then again, Malik had never had any formal education.

After a few moments, Malik tightened his palm into a fist. "Cynthia is older than Casey-Ra!" He exclaimed, looking somewhat disappointed.

Seto did the math in his head much quicker, and nodded. "But he's a Crawford, not a Kaiba."

"Oh. Good." Malik removed himself from the chair and exited, muttering something sounding like 'I didn't even talk to Pegasus'. Seto watched him leave, and then turned to Otogi.

"Are you absolutely sure you don't remember anything?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

* * *

An hour later, Cynthia was sitting on the edge of a bed, touching the ends of his hair and glowering. Hal had tried to remove the extensions, and then Casey-Ra had intervened with his pocket knife. His hair was now three inches shorter, and Casey-Ra and Hal were currently researching the explosive properties of custom-made hair extensions. This involved the microwave. 

"Well, this will be your room for now. Keys to all the locks on your door are in the nightstand, and stay out of the basement. The lawyers eat anything with flesh down there." Otogi explained. He leaned against Cynthia's dresser. "You need anything?"

"A glass of Chianti, please."

"Aren't you a little young to drink wine?"

"Oh, _fine_."

Otogi smiled. "Welcome to the family, kid." He left the room, leaving Cynthia in relative silence.

Cynthia reached over to his luggage (it had appeared, seemingly, out of nowhere- Hal maintained that Pegasus employed ninjas to transport luggage) and unzipped a pocket, pulling out a small bottle of Chianti and unscrewed the top. Screw tops, he thought, were freaking amazing.

He sipped the wine and contemplated his surroundings. A loud explosion from downstairs confirmed that Casey-Ra and Hal's experiment had been a success, and he mourned the loss of perfectly good hair extensions and some of his actual hair.

And yet, this was still better than Pegasus.


	4. Puppet Boy

**Title:** Puppet Boy

**Fandom: **Yu-Gi-Oh!

**Summary: **Seto meets Truman, and the children encounter school.

**Rating: **PG-13

**Notes: **Again, not entirely my fault- er, idea. Jun is the co-creator of the children. We both co-own the kiddies, Casey-Ra, Hal, and Cynthia, and now Truman. Much apologies to Takahashi-san. Spoilers for the entire series, blah blah blah. All of Cynthia's poems were written by Jun.

-

Seto had never quite given up following Yuugi. Sure, some would call it 'stalking' (some like Malik and Otogi and Cynthia) but really, he was only making sure the boy was alright. He'd seemed so broken up about Atemu returning to the Spirit World. Of course, that had happened before Casey-Ra was born, thus making it quite a while ago, but still. You never knew.

He had stopped wandering around the perimeter of the Motou residence when he couldn't stand another minute at the mansion, which was a good thing. He merely loitered around the shop, looking through several of the games his company made and occasionally looking over at Yuugi. Yuugi now owned the game shop, since Solomon retired. The old man, who now seemed like he'd never die, was either at home, resting, or on a vacation somewhere tropical.

And that was the way things went with them.

-

It was six o'clock. Seto was loitering around the Turtle Game Shop. He was starting to get worried.

Yuugi had, for the past hour, been talking to a wooden puppet.

It was a large puppet, with a poof of reddish-purple hair and glossy brown eyes. It wore a brown blazer, a white shirt, and jeans. That and the surprisingly alert expression made the puppet almost resemble an actual boy. However, it was quite obvious, because its limbs were wooden- a beautiful shined pine- but wooden nonetheless.

Yuugi had propped it up on the desk and was having a rather one-sided but animated discussion with it.

Seto, wearing an expression of worry that his children had never seen, slowly made his way to the counter. Normally, he tried to not let Yuugi see him (a behavior left over from wandering the shop's perimeter at midnight) but this time he couldn't stand by.

"Yuugi, I had no idea you took up ventriloquism."

Yuugi shot Seto as best a glare as possible. "This isn't a ventriloquist's dummy! This is Truman. Say hello to Seto Kaiba, Truman."

Silence from the puppet and Seto.

"Truman wants me to tell you he thinks you need a new coat."

Seto checked his coat. He'd been so used to Hal chewing on everything, including leather coats, that he hadn't bothered to check for bite marks.

"Yuugi... Truman's a _puppet_."

Yuugi looked offended and hugged the puppet close to him. "Well of course! His mother was a door, what do you think?"

"A door?" Seto said, his powers of denial so sharply honed they could withstand this.

"Yes. Her name is Maggie." Yuugi declared.

A few more moments passed, and Seto's powers of denial finally raised a white flag and fled wildly from the scene.

Seto picked up the puppet. "Yuugi, this is a fake boy. This is an inanimate object. It. Is. Not. Real. It is faux! Artificial! A counterfeit boy!"

Yuugi started to say something, but stopped, seeming to listen to the puppet. "Truman says he's going to sue you for trauma."

"Excuse me?"

"Truman wants to be a lawyer when he grows up. Now put him down!" Yuugi snatched the puppet from Seto and held it close. Seto and Yuugi stared at each other for a moment, before Seto turned on his heels and walked to the door. He paused.

"At least you won't have to pay for college with that thing!"

"He'll be getting a very good scholarship, for your information!"

And with that, Seto left.

-

The next week, the children were in school.

Well, except Truman, whom Yuugi thought it wise to home-school.

Cynthia sat as far as the limo seat would allow from Casey-Ra and Hal. Hal, who had been given a gift of what could only be counted as 'a whole lotta' dice, was studying one of them in his hand. He'd named it Andy.

Casey-Ra, meanwhile, was rummaging through Cynthia's backpack. Cynthia sulked as best he could in three cubic feet.

Rummaging about in Cynthia's backpack, Casey-Ra pulled out a small, thin notebook. The cover was black and scribbled on extensively in silver Sharpie.

"Give me that!" Cynthia tried not to screech, snatching at the notebook. Casey-Ra held it aloft, snickering madly.

Before the situation could develop any further, the driver slammed on the breaks. Casey-Ra stayed in his seat, while Hal and Cynthia almost crashed into the wall directly opposite them.

It was time for school.

-

Cynthia settled down in his seat, holding his backpack on his lap cautiously. Casey-Ra still had the poetry notebook, and he had to get it back- now. Maybe not now, but really soon.

He eyed his classmates warily. Most of them seemed nondescript, and only one stood out at all. The boy in the seat next to him, who had pale blonde hair and big brown eyes, like a puppy.

The teacher hit her desk with her ruler to get their attention.

"Hello class. In order to introduce yourselves to your fellow classmates, we shall go, row by row, and you will stand up, state your name, and tell us about yourselves and your family." The teacher hit the desk of the pupil nearest her. "Start!"

The other students went fairly quickly, stating their names, telling one or two hobbies, and the names of their family members, and answering any questions the teacher asked.

"My name is Champ Kujaki. I like most sports and most animals. Unless they bite. I've got a mother, a father, and one brother- well, I think he's a brother, even though he's more of a pet, and Mom won't let us take Fluffy to the museum to see if they know what he is..." Champ trailed off.

The teacher arched one eyebrow at him, and then snapped her ruler in Cynthia's direction. Cynthia stood up.

"...I'm Cyn Kaiba..." Cynthia started.

The teacher arched the other eyebrow at Cynthia, and checked her student roster. "I have you down here as Cynthia Crawford."

Some snickers among the class, and a 'Isn't that some American supermodel?'. Cynthia glared as best he could. Unfortunately, he did not inherit the genes for it. And neither did Hal, but that's another thing entirely.

"Fine. My name is Cynthia Crawford. I live with my dad and the fathers of his children. I don't like my siblings. They're crazy. And not like foxes. I'm also a wine enthusiast..." Cynthia trailed off.

There was a small pause.

"Well, let's begin the lesson plan, shall we?"

-

Casey-Ra was up in the office, clutching Cynthia's notebook. It was sometime after lunch, so that was about right. The silver scribbles on it were mostly incoherent, although he could make out a 'Cynthia x Venus' heart. The other hearts had the other name crossed out in all of them.

He was in the office for being philosophy into the class. He'd lectured the teacher on Nietzsche when he misquoted him. Of course, when he'd gone into detail of the book and made a girl in back cry, he'd been tossed out of the classroom.

The office was empty. The events leading to this were complicated- a mysterious box of glowing doughnuts had appeared in the staff room, and the various staff supposed to be in the office were trying to solve that mystery. The secretary, who despised doughnuts (especially glowing doughnuts) was currently speeding toward a hospital, where her sister had gone into labor.

But Casey-Ra did not know this and merely assumed it was because of his inherent awesomeness that such an opportunity had presented itself. He very silently snuck up to the P.A. system, and opened Cynthia's notebook to the first page.

-

Cynthia was mostly concentrated on the worksheet in front of him, although he did sneak a couple of badly executed glares in Champ's direction, who occasionally looked up and stared at him.

Suddenly, the intercom beeped. The teacher made a sort of strangled 'eek' sound and looked at the dusty speaker with a look of mixed curiosity and fear. There was a series of other beeps, and then the sound of light breathing.

A stream of incoherent squeaks came out of the intercom. The teacher made more strangled 'eek' noises and fled behind her desk. There was a grunt, and then the sound of a switch being hit.

"Ahem. 'Untitled' by Cynthia Crawford-Kaiba."

Champ was not the only one looking at Cynthia now.

"People say  
I am not  
But I say  
That I am  
But nobody  
Nobody  
Agrees that I am  
What I am  
I am like  
A bottle  
of chardonnay  
That nobody  
Agrees with."

Cynthia recognized the voice slaughtering his poem. Casey-Ra. _Well, surely they can see my genius even with such a butchered reading._ He thought.

"The Pavement by Cynthia Crawford-Kaiba."

"The pavement  
Is long and grey  
It is like my face  
After I dipped  
It in cement  
I fall  
on it  
And scrape my knee  
And it hurts  
And I have to  
Find a plaster  
To put on it  
Otherwise it gets  
Infected  
Stupid goddamn pavement."

In Cynthia's head, his ego was slowly, ever so slowly, inflating.

"Untitled by Cynthia Crawford-Kaiba."

"My dad is a wine-o  
Casey-Ra  
Says that I  
Am a whine-o  
But he is  
A big  
Stupid lame-o."

Another pause, and Cynthia was beaming on the inside. On the outside, he was hunched over his desk and trying to make himself inconspicuous. This only amounted in him looking more like a pile of hair.

"Such were the last words of the pansy with _hair extensions_."

"They're real!" Cynthia said to the P.A., almost standing up, before realizing it was only going one-way at the moment and resumed being a pile of hair.

Before the situation could develop any further, the bell rang. Children shot out of the classroom and the classroom windows at rather high speeds.

"Cynthia, Champ, could you come here a moment?" said the teacher.

They obeyed, and the teacher flashed the roster at them.

"Your name is Champagne?" Cynthia asked.

"shut up." Champ mumbled.

"I think that's one of my middle names!"

"I have your birth certificates here. Look at them, please." The teacher handed them over. Another set of events had led their birth certificates to be in the teacher's possessions, but they was far too complicated to describe.

"...oh, sorry, Champagne's not one of my middle names. See?"

Written on Cynthia's birthday certificate was Cynthia's full name. Cynthia Cecilia Chardonnay Celeste Chianti Caetlyn Caileigh Calanthe Calliope Camillia Candelaria Capricia Caramia Clarissa Charlotta Carolina Cassandra Cassiopeia Catalina Catherine Catriona Celandine Clemency Clementine Clover Constancia Cordelia Coretta Coriander Cornelia Chrysanthemum Cyriaca Cinderella Crawford. Of course, this exceeded the space for 'middle name' and the rest of them were written on the border of the birth certificate.

Under parents, there was one common name.

"Pegasus Crawford's my... other dad?"

"Pegasus Crawford is your other daddy?"

"We're half-brothers?"

"I have another half-brother?"

"Why does he have so many girl names?"

"Right, now that you two are acquainted, get out of my classroom."

Champ and Cynthia made muttering sounds at each other as they walked outside, taken aback by their new status as half-brothers.

Meanwhile, Hal managed a daring escape from his classroom, but that's another story for another time.

-

Later that night, Cynthia turned on his computer. He had decided against telling Seto since the name Pegasus was not a welcome name in the house. He had taken back his notebook in an epic battle that had ended with Malik and Otogi pulling himself and Casey-Ra apart and tossing them in their respective rooms. And an order not to come out until dinner.

Well, now he had three half-brothers. More than Casey-Ra or Hal. And Champ seemed normal, which was amazing.

He pulled up WordPad and began typing.

_There was a beautiful silhoette against the moon, long, curled hair floating gently in the midnight winds, like an angel. The silhoette stepped away, stealing a glance at the kingdom it had escaped, an unfair and crulle kingdom, were an unhappy marriage without true love waited for him. And here, in this place, was the one true love of his life..._


	5. Conventions and Coffee

**Title:** Conventions and Coffee

**Author:** Eralk Fang

**Rating:** PG-13 for Pegasus and alcohol.

**Summary**: Cynthia and Hal go to a convention. Casey-Ra has an interesting crush.

**Notes:** This was supposed to be Jun's Christmas gift. Now it's her New Year's gift and/or late Christmas gift. Took me forever to do.

-

The letter was thrown down on the table, almost visibly giving off lines of the wine smell. Malik covered his mouth and nose with his hand. "Sweet Horus!" He mumbled behind his hand.

Otogi's face couldn't make up its mind, so it settled for an expression of mild horror.

Without any ceremony, Seto cut open the envelope and pulled out a letter, in less time than it takes for a Kaiba to raise an eyebrow. The three men stared at it. Malik took the knife and pinned the letter down, careful not to touch it.

"What does it say?" Otogi asked.

Malik's eyes flicked side to side. "He wants to make sure we're giving his son a proper home... he'd like to know how his child's doing..." Malik looked up at Seto.

"Seto, he wants to have coffee tomorrow at four."

There are very few occasions when it is considered normal to shriek like a dying hyena. Having Pegasus J. Crawford coming to coffee is one of them.

-

"Dad?"

Seto looked up from his work. Malik and Otogi had since vacated the office, although the offending envelope was festering on the far side of his desk. Two of his sons were at the door- Casey-Ra and Cynthia. "Yes?"

"What was that noise?" Casey-Ra asked, elbowing Cynthia aside.

"Some very... unfortunate news. Mr. Crawford will be coming for coffee tomorrow."

Cynthia wilted. Casey-Ra... _brightened_. It was a frightening effect, as if someone had upped the contrast severely on a photograph of him in Photoshop. He even smiled a little. Cynthia was too busy wilting and Seto too busy reading the comics section hidden behind his latest memo. "Oh. Alright then." And with that, Casey-Ra almost floated out of the room.

Cynthia moved to his father's desk. "Dad! I have something very very very important to ask of you."

"What is it?"

"There's an anime convention at a hotel downtown and I can walk to it and everything I just need money for tickets and some for a costume please please please." Cynthia took a gulp of fresh air and was about to start again, when Seto nodded.

"Is it tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Good. It'd be better if you weren't here." Seto rifled around in his pants, and produced his wallet. This was an artifact, rarely seen by anyone outside the immediate family. The immediate family was actually not allowed to see it, but Otogi knew where it was hidden when.

Cynthia took the credit card handed to him, and floated out the doorway in a fashion similar to Casey-Ra's.

-

Not so deep into the bowels of the Kaiba mansion was Casey-Ra's room. It was a neat, uncluttered room, with plans of world domination filed under 'W' in the filing cabinet.

Shutting the door behind him, Casey-Ra floated in. His facial expression was... _serene_. He was positively _glowing_. He'd floated by Malik on the way to his room, and Malik was currently downing several Bloody Maries and muttering to Otogi that something was very, very wrong.

Casey-Ra glided over to his closet door, which he yanked open dramatically. On the other side of the closet door was a large poster of a one Pegasus J. Crawford. Casey-Ra sighed happily. "Oh darling, it won't be very long now." He touched the poster affectionately.

Downstairs, Malik demanded more Bloody Maries and Otogi joined him in the alcohol consumption.

-

Cynthia was utterly immune to the universe-bending happenings of his half-brother. He was in a similar state of bliss, although over something quite different.

He sighed happily as he dropped into his chair, and purchased tickets. His head was filled with dreamy little dreams of waltzing through a convention and winning every last costume award there was to have.

"You look too happy. What happened?"

Cynthia opened his eyes to find Hal sprawled across his bed, his pigtails everywhere. Remains of candy lay strewn about the bed, casualties of Hal's vicious sweet tooth. "I, little brother, am going to a convention."

"What's a convention?"

"It is a place where people go to enjoy something together. I am going to an anime convention. There will be lots of candy, and lots of comic books, and you won't be going." Cynthia smirked. He had the genetics for it, but it still looked weird.

Hal pouted and glared at Cynthia. "Is that what the Sailor Moon costume is for?" Hal gestured to Cynthia's closet.

"It's not a Sailor Moon costume! It's Claudius' costume, and I'm going as my original character. Get out!"

"No! DADDY!"

There was only one parent who still tolerated being called Daddy.

Otogi appeared at the door in a flurry of hair, vest, and dice. He was slightly- well, _rather_ tipsy, because the amount of alcohol to drown out that feeling of impending doom is quite a lot. "What is it, Hal?"

"Cynthia won't let me go to his convention!" Hal wailed. Cynthia groaned.

"Cynthia! Don't leave your little brother out!"

"He's only my half-brother!"

Otogi glared. Cynthia eeped. Hal grinned behind his hands. "You will take Hal to that convention, you hear me?" Otogi turned his glare on the bedroom, and grabbed the nearest bottle of wine.

Otogi was already in the hallway before Cynthia could splutter out, "but!"

"No buts young man!"

Hal and Cynthia listened to Otogi make his way downstairs, and the cheer of a very tipsy Malik at the discovery of more booze.

-

With the next day's ominous dawn, the mansion was bizarrely quiet. Malik, Otogi, and Seto were lying in wait, barking orders at the occasional maid that passed by the library. Casey-Ra was in his room, tossing clothes about the room and generally being a drama queen. Drama pharaoh. Whatever. Cynthia was getting ready for the convention, and Hal was giving him no peace.

"People are gonna think you're a girl. Don't you have problems with that already?" Hal gave a piece of taffy a particularly vicious bite.

"Claudius disguises himself as a girl. The fanfic hasn't gotten to the point where he dramatically reveals that he is a boy to Sailor Venus. Can you help me with this zipper?"

The preparation seemed to drag on for hours. A few canisters of Aqua-Net perished, Hal managed to knock over a dresser zipping Cynthia's sailor fuku up, and Cynthia was finally ready.

Downstairs, they were ready as well. Malik. Seto, and Otogi had prepared for Pegasus' visit by downing a few martinis and telling the guards they could shoot if Pegasus made a move at someone underage and/or Seto. Coffee was being prepared by a kindly old maid, who would later discover a magical pedant, travel to the mystical world of the dragons, and save it. But that is another story.

Casey-Ra had shut himself in his room, rehearsing his lines and trying to make plans if things didn't go as planned. If they did, Pegasus would be his by nightfall... Casey-Ra took a moment to have a good cackle. Because sometimes, you just need to.

-

"Boys! The limo's ready!" Otogi called up the stairs. Hal bounded down with all the grace of a bear carrying a pack of bricks, and Cynthia made his way very delicately down the stairs, as one must do in a sailor fuku and heels. Malik covered Seto's eyes.

"You... look nice..." Otogi offered.

Cynthia wobbled over to Otogi and asked in a loud whisper, "Hal isn't bringing his stupid costume, is he?"

"At least mine has PANTS." Hal countered.

"No, of course not." Otogi waved away Cynthia's concern.

"Good!" Cynthia teetered towards the door. "Bye-bye!"

Otogi waited for a moment, before handing a green duffel bag to Hal. "Use it wisely, son."

Hal grinned and ran after Cynthia. Those trapped inside the house heard the limo screech away. Malik released his grip on Seto's head. They waited in silence for a few moments, and then heard another limo pull up to the mansion. Malik sighed, and turned to see Casey-Ra... smiling. And also downstairs when he was upstairs a scant few seconds earlier.

The doorbell rang ominously.

It was time.

-

Cynthia marched the best he could into the convention hall. Booths lined the walls as far as the eye could see, and Cynthia could even see a few Sailor Scout cosplayers. "My people!" Cynthia sighed happily. Hal chewed idly on his own hand.

Cynthia turned to his little half-brother. "Hal. I am going to leave you alone while I go win several costume contests. You will not leave the convention hall. You will not bite anyone. And most of all, you are not chasing short people or declaring you are a superhero, got it? Just try and be good."

Hal scoffed, but nodded. Cynthia patted Hal's head, and teetered off to find the next costume contest.

Hal stood alone for a minute, watching Cynthia walk off. When he was certain Cynthia was far away enough, he ducked into a bathroom. He quickly exited, having stepped into the women's bathroom, and entered the men's room.

He quickly changed into his costume. Otogi had made this costume for Hal. Hal changed the scrunchies on his pigtails to little green and red starry ones. He pulled on a truly hideous Christmas sweater; it even had little bells on the fluffy white cuffs. Green pants with little elves on them followed, and Hal put his clunky boots back on. To finish it off, Hal donned a green Santa hat that had a little bell on the end. His braces were even green and red. He looked like Christmas, and it was July.

The Midget Poacher was ready for duty.

-

Pegasus descended upon the house of Kaiba in a cloud of purple smoke and wine smell. The trio was perched on a sofa, and Malik and Otogi were keeping an eye on Pegasus' hands. Pegasus sat on the sofa opposite, with Casey-Ra, who was scooting closer and closer to him.

"So, how is my little boy?" Pegasus asked.

"Oh... he's fine. He's at a convention with Hal right now." Seto answered, looking uncomfortable.

Otogi sniffed the air dramatically. "Is something burning?" Without an answer, he escaped to the kitchen.

The visit continued in this vein for a good half hour, with awkward conversation and the slipping away. Finally, Seto made a dash for the alcoholic paradise known as the kitchen, leaving Casey-Ra and Pegasus alone.

"So, Casey-Ra. I trust you and Cynthia get along?"

Casey-Ra perked up at being spoken to by Pegasus. "Oh, yes!" He lied. "We are the best of friends."

Then, Casey-Ra began to execute his plan. "So, Mr. Crawford, are you single?"

Pegasus almost spat out his coffee. "Excuse me?"

"You know, not involved? Not having a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a friend with benefits or anything of the sort?" Casey-Ra idly twirled a lock of hair around his finger. A lock of Pegasus' hair.

"I'm not, but why do you need to know?"

Casey-Ra took a deep breath. "Oh, I just can't take it anymore!" He threw himself the three inches required into Pegasus' arms. "Oh, darling! I've loved you for so long!"

Pegasus made a strangled noise.

"Let's move into your castle! Let's merge companies! We'll take over the gaming market! We'll crush the competition into bits! We'll flood the gaming market with card game simulators! And then, only card game simulators will be available!"

Casey-Ra's face shone with pure joy. Gaming critics everywhere woke up in a cold sweat.

Pegasus gently pried Casey-Ra off. "I'm sorry, but it'll never work out."

"Why not? We can make it so nothing but card game simulators are made! And I love you so." The gaming critics were starting to scream in horror.

"Well, Casey-Ra, there is a type of person I like. And you are not this type."

"What is your type?"

"Short and/or unconscious."

Casey-Ra's eyes began to water, and he tried to chuck himself at Pegasus again. "But I love you!"

And Pegasus just could not resist. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

Pegasus later said he simply ran out of the house, and Casey-Ra flat out refused to comment on the entire incident. One way or another, Pegasus was viciously evicted from the premises of the Kaiba mansion, and the wine smell took several weeks to get out. The sound was loud, and even dragged the trio out of the alcoholic paradise- excuse me, kitchen.

All they saw was Casey-Ra bawling his eyes out, something none of them had seen since Casey-Ra was an infant. Malik and Seto were seized by merciless paternal instincts. Otogi hadn't exactly made it out of the kitchen, having invited several Bloody Maries into his mouth; they'd all brought their friends and had taken their host down.

"Casey-Ra?" Seto offered, trying to repress the instinct.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Casey-Ra looked up. His mascara was all runny, his eyes were red, and he was a mess. He immediately flew to his feet and snarled, "You wouldn't understand!". It took him only a few strides to retreat to his room.

Malik waved it off. "It's the teenage years. Soon he'll be rebelling against the establishment and rejecting our values."

"We have values?"

-

The Midget Poacher moved through the convention hall stealthily, which might have worked had he not been humming the Batman theme song loudly. He moved from booth to booth, and there were mixed reactions to Hal's alter ego. A minority of convention goers found him adorable, while the rest ignored him politely.

Hal was thoroughly enjoying himself; this convention was fun. He hoped Cynthia would take him to more in the future. He wondered how he'd get Cynthia to take him to more conventions, and then he saw it.

His eyes rested on a tabletop covered in Sailor Moon manga and doujinshi, and the woman manning the booth smiled at him. "Well, hello little... kid! Who are dressed up as?"

"I'm the Midget Poacher. I catch midgets in the night. Do you have anything for a radical Sailor Moon fan?"

"I think I have just the thing... this is for you?"

"Oh no, it's a present." Hal smiled in what was supposed to be a cute way up at the woman. Luckily, she recognized it as such. She handed him a doujinshi volume and he handed her money. He waved to the nice lady, and resumed the Midget Poacher stalking style of walking.

In the corner of the convention hall, a woman muttered into a walkie-talkie.

-

The costume contest would not be for another hour, so Cynthia was wandering around as best he could in heels. He looked over booths, and didn't run into Hal.

He was perusing a booth for Sailor Moon doujinshi, when he heard his name. He turned around. "Champ!"

Champ was dressed quite normally, but weighed down with a large bag. "Oh, it is you."

The half-brothers looked at each other awkwardly for a moment.

"What's in the bag?"

"Are you aware you're in a skirt?" They spoke at the same time. "You first." Champ offered.

"Oh, yes. I am quite aware of it. It's for a costume contest!" Cynthia explained brightly.

"Right. Mai- I mean, Mom- gave me a list of stuff to buy, so I'm just running her errand. So you're entering as... Sailor Venus?"

Cynthia sighed, much as a scientist sighs when he must explain physics to toddlers. "No. I'm an original character. Claudius, cleverly disguised as a Claudia! He's madly in love with Sailor Venus, but their love is doomed-"

"That's very interesting, Cynthia. Mom wants me home by four, so I should get going." Champ escaped from the conversation and Cynthia, leaving the boy in the sailor fuku alone. Cynthia sighed, and began to teeter back towards the costume contest.

-

The Midget Poacher was appeased. Surely, this offering of doujinshi would make Cynthia take him to more anime conventions! He drifted off into a fantasy of attending a convention all about The Midget Poacher, where the convention goers didn't even realize the Poacher himself was in their midst...

"Little... kid! Little kid, come here." A woman's voice hissed. Hal snapped out of his fantasy. A woman in a very snappy uniform was gesturing at him violently.

Somewhere along the line, nobody had ever told Hal to never listen to strangers. So off he went.

"You like candy?"

"Like ice? I love ice!" Hal brightened.

The woman nodded. "I'll give you all the ice you can eat, if you give me that Sailor Moon doujinshi."

For a moment, Hal thought. He shook his head. "It's for my brother."

"Oh come on, it's a great deal! That doujinshi is extremely rare, and worth tens, if not hundreds, of dollars! And you get ice!"

"That's only a good deal for you!" Hal countered.

The woman produced a walkie-talkie, and muttered into it. A group of women emerged from various hiding spots, all sporting the same kind of very snappy uniform.

"Get... the kid!" The leader demanded, and the Midget Poacher began running.

People cleared out of their way as Hal surged forward. The ladies in the snappy uniforms gave chase, their boots clicking on the linoleum. Hal looked right and left for escape routes, and ducked into the first open door he saw. He breathed heavily for a moment.

"HAL!" Cynthia shrieked. Hal waved at his half-brother.

"I'm saving a Sailor Moon doujinshi from some scary ladies who don't know how to sell an idea for you!" Hal explained cheerfully. In the time it took for Hal to explain, the leader had snuck in the room. She picked Hal off the ground and growled.

"Give us the doujinshi, little kid, and nobody gets hurt."

"No! It's for Cynthia!" Hal protested.

"Unhand him!" A voice called. The leader spun around, taking Hal with her.

The woman from the Sailor Moon booth stood in a heroic pose on top of the judges' table. She wore a costume that looked it could be the mother of the Midget Poacher costume. Hal's eyes brightened. Cynthia wilted.

"It's you." The leader said venomously. She dropped Hal, who fell to the floor in an ungraceful heap. "You never let us buy that doujinshi!"

"Yes! And would you like to know why, Snappy Uniform Queen?"

Snappy Uniform Queen nodded.

"Because once upon a time, you were a little girl. You loved Sailor Moon and used to dream you could wear that fuku and save the world. You enjoyed it in the way children can. But your love turned to greed! If I handed you that doujinshi, you would have never read it! You would have sold it! You have lost your love of Sailor Moon!"

Snappy Uniform Queen nodded again. "It's true! There's no magic in it anymore for me!"

"That is because of your greed! How dare you try to take it from a little boy who wanted to give it to his sister-"

"Brother!" Cynthia squeaked. He was holding his head in his heads and turning redder by the minute.

"Er, brother! You would dare try and steal that joy from children who can enjoy it!" The booth woman bounded over to Snappy Uniform Queen and gave her a resounding slap. "Now go forth and recover the joy that you have lost!"

Snappy Uniform Queen nodded, and slouched out of the room.

"My work here is done." The booth woman bounded off to return to being a mild-mannered booth operator.

The judges looked scandalized. Cynthia recovered from enough embarrassment to mumble "I am so sorry!" at them continuously. Hal smiled. Finally, one judge recovered.

"The detailing!" She marveled. "The color!"

Cynthia finally looked up from his hands. "Really?"

"No, not you, your brother!" She gestured towards Hal. Several other cosplayers muttered in a disappointed fashion. The judge took the award ribbon and handed it to Hal. "Who are you dressed as?"

"The Midget Poacher-"

"We're leaving!" Cynthia grabbed Hal by his collar and began dragging his younger half-brother outside. Once properly outside, Cynthia turned on Hal. "How could you! I worked weeks on this costume! I had to learn how to walk in high heels! There's a little hole in the ozone layer that says 'CYNTHIA CRAWFORD-' er... 'CYNTHIA KAIBA' on it because of this hair!"

"Oh. Well, Sailor Venus can't compete with the Midget Poacher!" Hal smiled. "Here. I got this for you so you'd take me to anime conventions." Hal handed Cynthia the doujinshi.

Cynthia surveyed the cover. "...this is my favorite pairing! And it's so pretty!" He marveled. Cynthia made sure no one was watching before giving Hal a brief and awkward hug. "Come on, it's time to go home."

Hal skipped along after Cynthia. "So you'll take me to other conventions?"

"You'll win every costume contest in Japan by next year." Cynthia promised.

"Yay!"


End file.
